Prison Visitation – By Ruth Phoenix Rising Moise
Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone tuning in to this Rising Gem blog post, I need to speak some raw, unfiltered truth with you today. This is Phoenix, coming at you unapologetically, and what I’m about to share comes straight from the deepest parts of my heart the parts that ache, the parts that hope, and the parts that are desperately trying to heal.
Today we’re talking about something that doesn’t get discussed enough in conversations about “criminal justice reform” and “mass incarceration”: mommy life at prison visitation. And let me tell you, if you have children in your life whether you’re a parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent, or guardian what I’m about to share should serve as a wake-up call. This isn’t just my story; it’s the story of the estimated 2.7 million children in America who have a parent behind bars, experiencing a pain that’s almost impossible to articulate to those who haven’t lived it.
Understanding Maternal Incarceration: A Message Before We Begin
Before I dive deep into today’s experience at prison visitation, I need to make something crystal clear. When I say “put your children first,” I’m not talking about catching charges because someone “tried you” or disrespected your kids. I’m not advocating for violence or any response that would lead you down the path I’ve traveled. Breaking the cycle of incarceration means taking the route that doesn’t involve violence. Take the route that keeps you out of the criminal justice system.
This is personal for me because every single one of my incarcerations happened before I had children. I never knew anything about being an incarcerated parent until now. And that’s exactly what makes this experience so devastating and so transformative. Maternal incarceration is a completely different beast, one that tears at your soul in ways I never imagined possible.
According to recent statistics, women are the fastest-growing population in the American prison system, and more than 60% of women in state prisons are mothers of minor children. These numbers represent real families torn apart, real children experiencing trauma, and real mothers fighting for redemption and second chances.
Today’s Prison Visitation: Joy and Heartbreak Intertwined
Today at prison visitation was something special, something beautiful, and something absolutely heartbreaking all at once. The moment those children of incarcerated parents first saw their mothers walk into that visiting room, the entire atmosphere transformed. “Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY!” The burst of excitement that filled the room was palpable, electric, pure. It was the kind of joy that radiates outward and touches everyone present.
My husband later commented that it sounded like a daycare in there. And you know what? In a good way, it absolutely did. All of the kids were having fun, running around, interacting with other children. Some moms had brought other kids with them siblings, cousins, friends. It was a beautiful environment, a microcosm of normalcy in a place that’s anything but normal. For those precious hours, we could almost forget where we were. We could almost pretend that this was just a regular family gathering, that we’d all go home together when it was over.
But that’s not our reality as incarcerated mothers.
The Trauma of Family Separation: The Countdown and the Crash
Something happened today that absolutely broke me, and I need you to understand the weight of what I witnessed. As the prison visitation time started winding down thirty minutes left, fifteen minutes left I watched as every single child in that room began to change. The running stopped. The laughter quieted. And one by one, these beautiful children of incarcerated parents walked over to their mothers, their grandmothers, their aunts, and laid their heads down.
It was a sense of surrender, a moment of desperate clinging to what little time remained. “Okay, this is the wind down moment,” their little bodies seemed to say. “This is my chance to soak up this moment, to memorize the warmth of mommy’s embrace, to store up enough love to last me through another week.”
Because that’s our reality with maternal incarceration. Another week before we see each other again. Another seven days of only hearing each other’s voices through a phone. Another stretch of time where video calls have to substitute for hugs, where “I love you” comes through speakers instead of whispered directly into eager little ears.
Research shows that children of incarcerated parents are six times more likely to be incarcerated themselves a statistic that haunts every mother behind bars who’s fighting to break the cycle of incarceration.
The Emotional Impact: When Laughter Turns to Screams
The hardest part the part that still has me in tears as I write this was hearing how quickly everything shifted when it was time to go. The laughter that had filled the room for hours turned into screaming. The joy transformed into crying. Children who had been happily playing moments before were now clinging to their mothers, begging not to go, not understanding why mommy couldn’t just come home with them.
I watched incarcerated mothers wipe their own tears while trying to comfort their sobbing children. I saw the moment when each woman had to shift focus, had to transition from “mommy mode” back to “inmate mode,” had to return to the harsh reality that we are away from our kids. Really and truly away from them.
Those six hours of prison visitation which feel like both an eternity and an instant are nothing compared to the twenty-four hours a day we’re supposed to have with our children. They’re nothing compared to the 24/7 reality of motherhood that exists outside these walls. We don’t get to tuck them in at night. We don’t get to make them breakfast in the morning. We don’t get to kiss their scraped knees or help with their homework or simply exist in their presence the way mothers are meant to.
This is the hidden cost of mass incarceration that nobody talks about the trauma of family separation that ripples through generations.
Criminal Justice Reform: The Injustice of It All
Here’s what really gets me, what really drives home the need for **criminal justice reform**: the people on the outside don’t see this pain. Or if they do see it, they don’t care because they get to go home to their kids every single day. The judges, the prosecutors, the correctional officers, the parole boards the people who literally have our lives in their hands, who have the power to grant second chances they’re the same ones who move heaven and earth to keep their own children out of the system.
If their kids get into trouble, it’s all about rehabilitation and restorative justice and “what can I do to help?” They know exactly how it would feel to be separated from their children for extended periods, and they’ll do everything in their power to prevent that from happening to their own families.
But when it comes to other people’s children? Other people’s families? The empathy disappears. The understanding evaporates. Suddenly, it’s all about punishment and consequences and “you should have thought about that before.”
The hypocrisy is staggering and highlights why prison reform is so desperately needed.
Parenting from Prison: My Message to Parents and Caregivers
So here’s my advice to every mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandparent, and caregiver out there: Put the children in your life first. Not in a way that leads to violence or more legal trouble, but in a way that prioritizes their need for your presence over everything else.
Don’t put yourself in a predicament where you could be gone from them for an extended amount of time. I’m speaking from the inside looking out, with the painful clarity that only comes from experiencing maternal incarceration firsthand. I miss everything. Every milestone, every moment, every mundane Tuesday afternoon I miss all of it.
Now, would I change certain things if I could go back? Absolutely. But I wouldn’t change everything, because certain experiences needed to happen for me to be where I am now. I’m not just talking about this blog or my books or the business I’m building. I’m talking about personal growth, self-healing, about my evolution as a mother, about family restoration. Everything would have been different without this journey, and not all of those differences would have been positive.
Formerly Incarcerated Entrepreneurship: Building an Empire from Behind Bars
That’s why I’m working so hard to build this empire from where I am right now. When I get out and join the community of formerly incarcerated individuals working toward successful reentry, I don’t want my children to feel like mommy was gone for an extended amount of time and did nothing with it. I don’t want them to think that I just sat here, wasting away, counting days without purpose.
They’re going to know that mommy did what she had to do. They’re going to see that even in the darkest circumstances, even from behind these walls, I was still fighting, still creating, still building. The same entrepreneurial spirit I had on the outside doing photography, sublimation, T-shirts, mugs, always hustling, always creating is the same spirit I’m channeling in here.
Prison entrepreneurship is real. Many formerly incarcerated entrepreneurs have built successful businesses after release, proving that second chances work when given the opportunity. What’s the difference between being an entrepreneur out there and being one in here? Only the location. The drive, the determination, the refusal to let circumstances define my destiny that remains the same.
Reentry and Second Chances: A Word About Legal Hustles
Now, when I say find a hustle if you can’t work a traditional nine-to-five because of your criminal record, I need to be absolutely clear: I’m talking about legal hustles. I am not, under any circumstances, motivating anybody to do anything illegal. We are not trying to give ourselves more convictions, add more letters to our prison identification numbers, or extend our time away from our children.
Those of us in the Federal Detention Center, we know what those criminal enterprise signs look like. We’ve seen where that path leads. We’re done with that life and committed to successful reentry.
There are so many legitimate ways for formerly incarcerated individuals to make money and support their families:
– Freelancing and consulting
– Creating digital products and online courses
– Starting e-commerce businesses
– Offering specialized services
– Building content creation platforms
– Becoming motivational speakers and advocates
Yes, employment after incarceration is harder with a record. Yes, there are additional obstacles. But it’s possible, and it’s worth it, because the alternative being back in a place like this is simply not an option. Organizations focused on reentry programs and ban the box initiatives are making it easier for formerly incarcerated people to find meaningful work.
Breaking the Cycle of Incarceration: Our Collective Responsibility
As an incarcerated mother, I want you to know that I do not judge anybody for however many times they’ve been incarcerated, whether in prison, county jail, or anywhere else. I don’t judge you for whatever you did to end up here. We’ve all made choices we wish we could take back. We’ve all traveled paths we wish we’d never started down.
But here’s what I am telling you: The cycle stops now. With us.
After reading this, after hearing this message, after witnessing the things that we have witnessed from behind a door that cannot open unless they tell us it can open we will do better. We must do better. Our children deserve better.
Breaking the cycle of incarceration requires:
1. Self-awareness and accountability
1. Mental health support and trauma therapy
1. Education and skill development
1. Strong support systems and mentorship
1. Access to resources for successful reentry
1. Community support and second chances
I pray that every woman and man who sees and hears this message gets the same wake-up call I received today. Watching those children of incarcerated parents cling to their mothers, hearing their cries, seeing the pain in everyone’s eyes it changed something in me. It reinforced my commitment to never put myself in a position to be separated from my children again.
A Mother’s Promise: Self-Healing and Restoration
To my own children: Mommy is on a path of **self-healing and restoration**. Every word I write, every business I build, every step I take toward betterment is for you. You are my motivation, my inspiration, my reason for pushing forward even when it feels impossible.
When we’re reunited, and we will be reunited, I’ll be a better version of myself. Stronger, wiser, more focused, more present. This experience of maternal incarceration is teaching me things I could never have learned anywhere else, and I’m determined to transform this pain into purpose, this setback into a setup for our comeback.
My journey represents what’s possible when incarcerated mothers commit to personal transformation and use their time inside to prepare for successful reentry. I’m not just serving time I’m using this time to become the mother, entrepreneur, and woman I was always meant to be.
The Statistics Behind Mass Incarceration and Maternal Incarceration
Let’s talk numbers, because understanding the scope of mass incarceration helps us understand why criminal justice reform is so urgent:
– Over 2 million people are currently incarcerated in the United States
– 231,000 women are incarcerated in jails and prisons
– 80% of incarcerated women are mothers
– 2.7 million children have a parent in prison
– Children of incarcerated parents are 6x more likely to be incarcerated themselves
- Black and Latina women are disproportionately affected by mass incarceration
These aren’t just statistics they’re families, futures, and communities impacted by a system that desperately needs reform and restoration.
Criminal Justice Reform: What Needs to Change
As someone living inside the criminal justice system, I can tell you exactly what needs to change:
1. More Programs for Incarcerated Mothers
– Parenting classes and family reunification programs
– Mental health services and trauma therapy
– Educational opportunities and vocational training
– Prison nursery programs that allow mothers to bond with newborns
2. Better Reentry Support
– Housing assistance for formerly incarcerated women
– Job training and employment programs
– Childcare support for mothers reentering society
– Expungement and record sealing opportunities
3. Sentencing Reform
– Alternative sentencing for non-violent offenses
– First-time offender programs that prioritize rehabilitation
– Consideration of family impact in sentencing decisions
– Second chances through restorative justice programs
4. Improved Visitation Policies
– Longer prison visitation hours
– More family-friendly environments
– Video visitation as a supplement, not replacement
– Transportation assistance for families
Join the Movement: Criminal Justice Reform and Advocacy
Thank you so much for tuning in and engaging with this Rising Gem blog post. Your support means everything to me as I navigate this journey of incarceration, motherhood, and transformation.
I want this platform to be as much yours as it is mine. Please, share your thoughts, your experiences, your stories. Let’s build a community of formerly incarcerated individuals, families affected by mass incarceration, and advocates for criminal justice reform.
Connect With Unapologetically Caged:
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Get in touch:
– Email: unapologeticallycaged@gmail.com
We want to hear from you about:
– Your reentry story or journey toward second chances
– Ideas for criminal justice reform
– Topics related to incarcerated mothers and children of incarcerated parents
– Prison reform advocacy initiatives
– Successful reentry stories from formerly incarcerated individuals
– Resources for families affected by incarceration
Send me DMs on any of our social media platforms or email us with your suggestions for conference ideas, video topics, blog posts whatever you want to see, I’ll try my best to make it happen. This is for all of us, for every person who’s been touched by the criminal justice system, for every child who’s had to say goodbye at the end of prison visitation, for every mother who knows what it’s like to wipe away tears while trying to be strong.
The Path Forward: Hope, Healing, and Second Chances
If you’re reading this as someone currently incarcerated, recently released, or preparing for reentry, know that you’re not alone. The formerly incarcerated community is strong, resilient, and full of people who have successfully rebuilt their lives after prison.
Resources for formerly incarcerated individuals:
– Look for reentry programs in your area
– Connect with prison reform organizations
– Join formerly incarcerated support groups
– Seek out employment programs that work with people with criminal records
– Find mentorship from successful formerly incarcerated entrepreneurs
Conclusion: Breaking the Cycle Starts With Us
We’re in this together, and together, we’ll rise. Breaking the cycle of incarceration isn’t just about individual change it’s about systemic criminal justice reform, community support, and society’s willingness to offer second chances.
Every incarcerated mother who commits to self-healing and restoration is making a choice not just for herself, but for her children and future generations. Every formerly incarcerated person who successfully reenters society and builds a meaningful life is proof that second chances work.
This is bigger than me. It’s bigger than my story. It’s about the millions of families torn apart by mass incarceration, the children of incarcerated parents who deserve better, and the mothers fighting every day to be present for their kids despite the walls between them.
If my story can help one person avoid incarceration, support one family through prison visitation, or inspire one formerly incarcerated individual to keep pushing forward then sharing this painful truth is worth it.
With love and unapologetic truth,
Ruth Phoenix Rising Moise
Incarcerated Mother | Criminal Justice Reform Advocate | Entrepreneur | Voice for the Voiceless | Rising from the Ashes
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