Coping with Anxiety – by Pheonix Rising
Meet Phoenix Rising
My name is Ruth. Most people in this space know me as Phoenix Rising and there’s a reason for that name. A phoenix is a bird that catches fire and rises from the ashes of what tried to destroy it. That is my story.
I am a 27-year-old mother of two incredible children. I am also currently incarcerated. I know that might make some people close this tab but I’m praying it makes you lean in closer. Because if you’ve ever felt trapped by your circumstances, by your fears, by the voice in your head that tells you you’re too much or not enough then you and I have more in common than you might think.
I started Unapologetically Caged because I believe a woman’s voice doesn’t lose its power just because her body is confined. I am writing to you from a place most people would call rock bottom. But I call it my foundation. And from this foundation, I have something real to offer you: hard-earned wisdom, lived experience, and the kind of truth that can only come from a woman who has been forced to sit with herself.
Today’s rising gem is about anxiety and how to cope with it every single day. This is not theory for me. This is survival. Let’s get into it.
What Is Anxiety? Let’s Actually Talk About It
Anxiety is not just “being nervous before a test” or “worrying about bills.” Clinically speaking, anxiety is a persistent state of worry and nervousness one that can manifest in panic attacks, compulsive behaviors, physical symptoms like racing heart and sweating, and a constant sense that something bad is about to happen, even when everything is technically fine.
For many young women, anxiety is a silent companion. We carry it in our chests during family dinners, in our stomachs before job interviews, in our throats when we try to speak up in a room full of people. We’ve been trained to perform calm even when we are anything but.
Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health condition in the United States, affecting over 40 million adults and young women between 18 and 30 are among the most affected groups. Yet we are also among the least likely to receive support.
That ends here. That ends today.
My Anxiety Has a Name: Social Anxiety Disorder
I deal with social anxiety really, really bad and I have for as long as I can remember. It doesn’t matter what the setting is. Church. A group hangout. A classroom. Even sharing a simple story about my weekend in front of three or more people sends my body into a full-on panic response.
My palms sweat. My heart races. A wave of heat washes over me. And underneath all of that is one deep, consuming fear: the fear of embarrassment. The fear of messing up. The fear of giving people something to say about me.
Now imagine dealing with that inside a facility where you are already being watched, already being judged, already being reduced to a number on a document. The anxiety I’ve had to manage in here has been unlike anything I faced on the outside.
But here is what incarceration has forced me to learn and what I want to pass on to you, empress to empress:
People are going to talk about you whether you’re doing something incredible or something ordinary. So why silence your authentic self for the approval of people who were never truly in your corner?
That shift in thinking did not come overnight. It came through prayer, through practice, through tears, through stillness. And it continues to come every single day. The four practices I’m about to share are the ones I return to again and again. They are not perfect. But they work.
4 Daily Practices to Cope with Anxiety and Panic Attacks
These are not quick fixes. They are daily disciplines tools you keep on your person so that when anxiety shows up (and it will), you are not caught off guard. Build these into your routine. Let them become second nature. Then watch how your relationship with fear begins to change.
✨ Tip 1: Pray — Anchor Yourself in Something Greater Than Your Fear
Before I do anything else when I feel anxiety creeping in, I pray. I know prayer looks different for everyone, and I respect that. But the heart of this practice is simply this: grounding yourself in a source of peace that is bigger than your circumstances.
For me, building a real relationship with God has been the most transformative thing I have done in here. Not a surface-level, say-the-right-words relationship a genuine, honest, broken-open relationship where I bring Him exactly what I’m feeling and trust Him to meet me there.
What I have noticed is that the anxiety, the sweatiness, the tightness in my chest it doesn’t fully lift until I do the thing I was afraid to do. It’s like my body holds the fear as a signal, not a stop sign. The faster I lean in and trust, the faster the relief comes.
TRY THIS:
Before a stressful situation, find even 60 seconds of quiet a bathroom stall, a corner of a room, a moment before you walk through the door. Close your eyes. Speak honestly to whatever you believe in. Ask for peace, for presence, for courage. Then go do the thing. You will not be alone in it.
✨ Tip 2: Stretch — Reset Your Body and Your Nervous System
When anxiety hits, your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. Your muscles tense. Your breathing gets shallow. Your nervous system is flooded with cortisol and adrenaline, preparing you for a danger that isn’t actually there. Stretching interrupts that cycle and sends your brain a message: we are safe.
Here is the technique I use: Raise both arms slowly above your head and breathe in deeply. Then lower them gradually while breathing out. Repeat this movement in 15-second intervals, keeping your full attention on your arms and your breath.
This works because it gives your anxious mind something specific, physical, and present to focus on. You cannot spiral into worst-case scenarios when you are counting your breath and tracking your movement. Your nervous system can only process so much at once — use that to your advantage.
TRY THIS:
Set a 2-minute timer right now yes, right now — and try it. Raise, breathe in. Lower, breathe out. Feel your heart rate slow. Feel your shoulders drop. Your body already knows how to find calm. Sometimes it just needs you to show it the way.
✨ Tip 3: Memory Lane — Let the Good Pull You Back to the Present
Anxiety is a time machine that only travels forward dragging you into every possible future failure, every imagined worst case, every fear that hasn’t even happened yet. One of the most powerful things you can do is consciously pull yourself backward into your happiest, most peaceful memories.
I call this going down Memory Lane. Think about a moment when you felt completely safe and at ease. Maybe it was a summer afternoon with people you love. A day when you laughed until your stomach hurt. A quiet morning when the world felt like it was yours. That feeling is not gone. It lives inside of you. Anxiety cannot take what is already rooted in your bones.
When you revisit those memories with intention, you are literally retraining your brain — reminding your nervous system that you have been safe before, that you have been happy before, and that you can return to that place. This is the foundation of what therapists call positive memory reconsolidation, and it is one of the most accessible mental health tools available to any of us, no matter where we are.
TRY THIS:
Create a “Peace List” even just in your mind or on a scrap of paper. Write down five to ten memories that make you feel warm, safe, or happy. Keep it close. When anxiety starts to spiral, pull out the list and sit inside one of those memories for a full 60 seconds. Close your eyes. Be there. Let it hold you.
✨ Tip 4: Walk It Out — Let the Earth Be Your Grounding
There is something ancient and powerful about stepping outside and letting your feet touch the ground. When everything inside feels chaotic, the world outside becomes your anchor.
When I can, I walk. I breathe. I look at the sky and I remind myself that I am a human being on a living planet that has been sustaining life for billions of years and it is not panicking. Research on a practice called “grounding” or “earthing” has shown that direct contact with the earth can reduce cortisol levels, lower inflammation, and improve mood in measurable ways. Our ancestors knew this without a study to tell them. That knowledge is still in us.
As you walk, breathe with intention. Notice what’s around you. Feel the air. Let the rhythm of your steps become a rhythm of peace. The earth is not in a hurry. Let its steadiness become yours.
TRY THIS:
The next time you’re overwhelmed, go outside for at least 10 minutes. Walk slowly. Breathe deeply. If you can go barefoot on grass or dirt, do it. Notice three things you can see, two things you can hear, and one thing you feel beneath your feet. Come back to your body. Come back to right now. Right now is where your power lives.
You Are Not Your Anxiety — You Are the Woman Who Rises Anyway
I want you to hear this from a woman who is living proof: having anxiety does not make you weak. Being in a hard place does not make you less. Struggling does not cancel out your strength. You can be both falling apart and rising at the same time I do it every single day.
The women who change the world are not the ones who never feel fear. They are the ones who feel it completely and show up anyway. They are the ones who pray in the bathroom stall, who stretch their arms toward the sky, who carry their peace lists in their pockets, who walk barefoot when the world feels like too much.
That is who you are. That is who you are becoming.
So the next time anxiety comes knocking and it will come back to these four practices. Pray. Stretch. Go down Memory Lane. Walk it out. Use whatever your body is calling for. Use all four if you need to. There is no wrong way to find your way back to yourself.
I am writing this from a place that most people would not choose. But I choose to use it. I choose to let it refine me. I choose to rise — and I am taking every single one of you with me.
These walls cannot cage what God put inside of me. And nothing in your life has the power to cage what He put inside of you either.
I love you, empress. Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading words written by a woman who needed to believe her voice still mattered. You helped me believe it.
Keep rising. Always.
— Ruth “Phoenix Rising” Moise
Age 27 • Mother of Two • Unapologetically Caged
About Unapologetically Caged
Unapologetically Caged is a blog created by Ruth “Phoenix Rising” Moise, a currently incarcerated 27-year-old mother of two who uses her story to inspire, motivate, and encourage young women. This space is proof that a cage can hold a body but never a purpose. Every entry is a rising gem — hard-won wisdom offered freely to every woman who needs it.
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