Hey Unapologetic Family welcome back to the Rising Gem series. I’m Ruth Phoenix Rising Moise, a 27-year-old mother of two, writing to you from the inside and I mean that literally. I am currently incarcerated, but these walls do not define my worth, my voice, or the vision God has planted in my spirit. Every word I write is rooted in real experience, real faith, and real love for every empress reading this.
Today’s gem is personal. It’s raw. And I pray it hits exactly where you need it most.
Have You Ever Felt Like Quitting Before You Even Started?
Let me ask you something, empress. Have you ever been handed a task, a dream, or an opportunity so big that it shook you to your core? Have you ever looked at what God called you to do and thought “Wait… me? Are You sure?” Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by the pressure of a challenge that your passion started to feel like punishment?
I have. And it wasn’t just once.
Over the past three weeks, I was selected to help organize and perform in the Black History Month program here at my compound. Me someone who hasn’t conquered stage fright, someone with low blood pressure who genuinely risks blacking out in front of a crowd, someone who was still figuring out her voice. But God didn’t let me say no. Something in my spirit jumped at the chance, and I now understand exactly why.
“Self-doubt doesn’t come from a place of love. Anything that makes you question your worth comes from darkness not the light that God placed inside of you.”
When Everything Falls Apart – That’s Where the Breakthrough Begins
The original idea for our performance was a podcast-style skit. And empress, I’m going to be transparent with you: it was a disaster. Eight women, all talking over each other, no order, no flow, and three weeks of rehearsals that felt like we were moving backwards instead of forward. I genuinely wanted to walk away. I was done. I told myself the whole thing was too messy, too chaotic, and I wasn’t going to embarrass myself in front of a packed room.
Then something shifted inside me.
I remembered why I said yes in the first place. God didn’t put that fire in my step just to let me walk away when things got hard. So when only two of us showed up on time for the final rehearsal before the event — on my canteen shopping day, no less instead of spiraling, I got still. And in that stillness, the idea came: scrap the podcast. Make it a family reunion.
My friend Key and I sat together and built something new from the ground up. Our organizer Fyre stepped in and gave it the perfect name: “Black 2 the Future Family Reunion.” In one single rehearsal, we made more progress than we had in three weeks combined. That is what God does when you stop running from the discomfort and start trusting the process.
Sweating, Shaking & Showing Up Anyway
The morning of the event I felt okay. I had prayed. I had prepared. I had memorized my script and my poem. But the moment I saw that line of people wrapped around the chapel, my body went into full panic mode. My palms were sweating. My heart was racing. I was whispering to myself, “We are sold out. This show is sold out. There is no room for mistakes.”
And yet I walked out there anyway.
My part was representing Haitian culture. I played a character on her tablet texting her boyfriend Jean Paul (yes, the crowd groaned and I loved every second of it). I shared the history of the Haitian Revolutionary War. And then I recited the original poem I wrote about our freedom, our resilience, and our sacred soup joumou — the dish Haitians eat every January 1st to honor our independence.
I was visibly shaking. Sweat was dripping into my eyes. But I did not stop. Because this wasn’t just about a Black History Month program. This was a rehearsal for the calling God has on my life — to one day stand before large congregations and deliver messages that heal, inspire, and awaken people to their purpose.
“Even when you feel like you’re about to fall out, keep going. God’s promise is your anchor – and He doesn’t make promises He doesn’t keep.”
What Happens When You Push Through
After the event, the compliments came pouring in. “That was amazing.” “We didn’t even know you were Haitian.” “The projection of your voice is beautiful.” And my personal favorite someone walked up and said, “We saw you grab that plate to fan yourself after you sat down. Are you okay? You looked like you were about to pass out.”
And I just smiled. Because yes, my body was fighting me. But my spirit won. And that right there is the testimony. That is what it looks like to push through anxiety, through fear, through self-doubt and come out on the other side being seen, being recognized, and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that God is not done with you yet.
This wasn’t even a fraction of what He has for me. As Pastor Michael Todd of Transformation Church says “We haven’t even seen nothing yet.” I claim that over my life, and I claim it over yours too, empress.
Tips & Tricks: How to Beat Fear, Anxiety & Adversity in Real Time
For the empress who’s struggling, questioning, and ready to rise – this is for you.
01. Name the Fear Out Loud
Fear only has power when it stays hidden. Write it down. Say it out loud. When you name it, you shrink it. Try journaling: “I am afraid of _____, but God is bigger than _____.” Repeat daily.
02. Separate Self-Doubt from the Spirit
Not every thought that sounds like you is FROM you. Self-doubt, shame, and fear are not God’s voice. His voice sounds like love, courage, and possibility. When the doubt creeps in, ask yourself: Does this thought want to see me rise? If not it is not from Him.
03. Pivot, Don’t Quit
Sometimes the original plan isn’t the right plan. That doesn’t mean your vision is wrong it means God is redirecting the route. When something stops working, get still. Ask for new eyes. The breakthrough idea often lives right after the moment you almost gave up.
04. Rehearse in Small Rooms First
You don’t have to be ready for the big stage to start. Find small opportunities to practice your gift whether it’s speaking, writing, creating, or leading. Every small room is preparing you for the large one God is taking you to.
05. EAT, GROW & JIVE
Feed your spirit daily with Bible time. Grow by surrounding yourself with positivity and people who speak life. Jive enjoy your life and praise God even when you cannot see results yet. Worship before the breakthrough is what positions you for it.
06. Step Out on Crazy Faith
Apply for that dream job even if you don’t feel qualified. Leave that relationship that’s draining your peace and trust God to provide. Ask for the reassignment, the rearrangement, the door that only He can open. Crazy faith means moving before you can see the whole staircase.
YOUR DAILY DECLARATION
Say this out loud, empress:
“I am not too much. I am not too broken. I am exactly who God said I am — and I will show up, even when I’m shaking.”
To Every Empress Reading This
Whether you are navigating addiction recovery, a toxic relationship, financial hardship, incarceration, grief, or just the quiet crushing weight of feeling like you are not enough I see you. I am you. And God has not forgotten about you.
He will give you more than you can handle, because He wants you to depend on Him for the things you would never do on your own strength alone. Only He can take a girl who’s been an introvert her whole life and put her in front of a sold-out chapel. Only He can take a mess and make it a movement.
Seek His face. Ask in prayer. Be patient. And in the meantime Eat, Grow, and Jive.
ENGAGE WITH YOUR COMMUNITY
💬 Drop a comment: What is ONE fear you are going to face this week? Let’s hold each other accountable.
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