Breaking Free Prison: How One Woman Can Save Mothers

Breaking Free Prison | By Ruth “Phoenix Rising” Moise

“A message of hope for women aged 18-30: Your past doesn’t have to become your future”

The Wake-Up Call You Need to Hear Today

If you’re reading this right now, it means you’re still here. You woke up this morning when someone else didn’t. That’s not an accident God still has a plan and purpose for you to accomplish. But I need you to understand something critical: the path you’re on right now could lead to a cage, and I’m not just talking about metal bars.

Between 1980 and 2023, the number of incarcerated women increased by over 600%, rising from 26,326 to 186,244. That’s not just a statistic those are mothers, daughters, sisters, and women just like you and me who thought it would never happen to them.

I’m Ruth “Phoenix Rising” Moise, and I spent 10 years of my life behind bars. I’m writing this because I see too many young women, especially young mothers between 18 and 30, heading down the same path I took. And I’m here to tell you: you don’t have to make the same mistakes I did.

My Story: From Darkness to Light

From age 14 to 25, I lived in a place of complete darkness. My life was a product of pent-up anger and unresolved trauma that I never learned how to process. I was hurting, but instead of healing, I let that pain turn into rage. Eventually, that rage led to a fatal incident that cost me a decade of freedom and left a permanent scar on my heart.

When those prison doors closed behind me, I thought my life was over. I believed the chains I wore were permanent. But here’s what I learned: those chains were mental, emotional, and spiritual and they could be broken.

The Reality of Women’s Incarceration That Nobody Talks About

Let me tell you what they don’t show you on TV about women’s prisons:

Almost half of women in prison (45%) had been arrested by age 18. Think about that. These are young women teenagers whose lives were derailed before they even got started. Twelve percent report homelessness before they turned 18, and 19% were in foster care at some point.

The system isn’t just taking mothers away from their babies it’s destroying entire generations. Nearly 80% of women in jail are mothers, and most are single parents. When a mother goes to prison, her children don’t just lose their mom they lose stability, security, and often their childhood.

Women are more likely to enter incarceration with a history of abuse and trauma: 86 percent of women in jail have experienced sexual violence and 77 percent have experienced intimate partner violence. 

This is the cycle we need to break.

Why Young Mothers Are at the Highest Risk

If you’re a young mother between 18 and 30 right now, listen carefully. You’re in the demographic that’s most at risk.

Here’s why:

Financial desperation: 

You’re trying to provide for your child, maybe without support. Women are more likely to be jobless (53%) than to be employed in the month before their arrest. When you can’t pay rent or buy food, desperate decisions start to look like the only option.

Toxic relationships: 

Maybe you’re with someone who’s pressuring you to be involved in things you know aren’t right. Women may be coerced by abusive partners for example, a woman might be pressured into serving as an accomplice to a crime. Don’t let someone else’s choices become your prison sentence.

Unresolved trauma: 

Over a quarter of women (26%) experienced homelessness in the year before the arrest that led to their incarceration. Trauma doesn’t just go away it compounds. What you don’t heal from, you’ll pass on to your children.

Substance abuse: 

Many women turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with pain, abuse, or mental health struggles. But here’s the harsh reality: Over half of incarcerated women (53%) did not finish high school, and the system is more likely to punish you than help you heal.

The Devastating Impact on Your Children

Let me be brutally honest with you: if you go to prison, your children will suffer in ways that may never fully heal.

Research shows that children with incarcerated mothers experience higher rates of depression and anxiety compared to children whose mothers were never incarcerated. Separating young children from their mother, particularly during the first five years of life, may cause long-term emotional damage because of potential disruptions to their healthy early brain development and reductions in their ability to form primary attachments.

Your baby needs you not just physically present, but emotionally healthy and mentally free. Every time you make a choice that could lead to incarceration, you’re making a choice that affects your child’s entire future.

Warning Signs You’re Heading Toward Incarceration

Here are the red flags you need to recognize RIGHT NOW:

1. You’re surrounding yourself with people involved in illegal activities “I’m just along for the ride” can still land you in prison for years.
2. You’re using drugs or alcohol to cope with pain Twenty-six percent of women in prison have been convicted of a drug offense, compared to 12% of men.
3. You’re ignoring your mental health struggles Significant mental illness affects an estimated 32% of women in jails more than double the rate among men.
4. You’re staying with an abusive partner because you don’t think you have options you do have options, and leaving is always better than ending up in prison.
5. You’re making decisions based on immediate needs without thinking about long-term consequences that quick money, that “one-time thing,” that favor for someone can cost you years of your life.

How to Break Free Before It’s Too Late

Here’s the truth that took me 10 years to learn: self-healing is about dissecting your triggers and figuring out where and when things went wrong in life, with the intention of wanting to fix the issue.

Step 1: Confront Your Demons

You can’t heal what you won’t acknowledge. What trauma are you carrying? What pain have you been avoiding? The demons of your past will keep haunting you until you turn around and face them head-on.

For me, that meant acknowledging my anger, my pain, and the unresolved trauma from childhood. It meant admitting that I was broken and needed help. There’s no shame in being broken the shame is in staying broken when healing is possible.

Step 2: Seek Help and Support

You don’t have to do this alone. In fact, you can’t do it alone. Whether it’s:

• Mental health counseling
• Substance abuse treatment programs
• Domestic violence shelters and support groups
• Community programs for young mothers
• Church or faith-based organizations

Asking for help is not weakness it’s wisdom. I wish I had reached out sooner. Don’t wait until you’re behind bars to realize you needed support.

Step 3: Change Your Circle

The people you surround yourself with will either lift you up or drag you down. If your friends or partner are involved in illegal activities, you need to make a hard choice: them or your freedom. You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick.

Step 4: Focus on Your Purpose

Remember: you woke up this morning for a reason. There are little people looking up to you your children, your nieces, your nephews, your cousins. Even if you don’t have kids of your own, there are children who need a mentor.

What we lacked as children is what we shall seek as adults. Let’s make sure the next generation has a better chance than we did.

Breaking the Chains of Mental Incarceration

Here’s something powerful I discovered: you can be physically free but mentally incarcerated. The guilt, the anger, the self-judgment, the low self-esteem these are chains just as real as the ones they put on your wrists when they arrest you.

I spent the first months after my release still imprisoned in my mind. But over the past six months, I’ve experienced a peace that’s completely indescribable. Things that used to matter drama, negativity, toxic people suddenly seem disturbing and destructive to my peace.

Peace is the one thing I never had and never thought I wanted. But now I realize it’s the key to everything. And that’s what I want for every young woman reading this.

Reclaiming Your Identity Beyond the Labels

People will try to label you:

• Drug addict
• Bad mother
• Bad daughter
• Junkie
• Criminal

But those labels are from their limited vision. I see you differently.

When we start to realize that we are human we are women, mothers, daughters, aunties, and children of God our mental state changes. We can embrace our brokenness and our flaws and transform them through self-healing.

You are not your worst mistake. You are not your trauma. You are not your circumstances.

You are a woman capable of rising, healing, and transforming.

Your Action Plan to Stay Free

Here’s what you need to do right now:

TODAY:

1. Identify one toxic relationship or situation you need to distance yourself from
2. Write down three positive goals for your life and your children’s lives
3. Research one support resource in your area (mental health services, parenting programs, job training)

THIS WEEK:

1. Reach out to at least one support organization
2. Have an honest conversation with someone you trust about your struggles
3. Start a journal to process your emotions instead of suppressing them

THIS MONTH:

1. Create a safety plan if you’re in an abusive relationship
2. Enroll in a program that will help you build job skills or finish your education
3. Connect with a mentor or support group

THIS YEAR:

1. Commit to consistent mental health treatment
2. Build a network of positive, supportive people
3. Create a stable foundation for you and your children

The Message I Wish Someone Had Told Me at 18

If I could go back and talk to my 18-year-old self, here’s what I would say:

“You think you have no options, but you do. You think this pain will last forever, but it won’t if you choose healing. You think no one cares, but there are people who will help you if you ask. You think you’re protecting yourself by building walls, but those walls are becoming your prison.”

“The choices you make in the next few years will determine whether you’re free or caged, whether your children grow up with their mother or without her, whether you become a cycle-breaker or a cycle-repeater.”

“Choose healing over coping. Choose freedom over temporary solutions. Choose your children’s future over your past. Choose to be the woman you needed when you were younger.”

Breaking the Generational Curse

My favorite quote, one I created through my own journey, is this: “Healing from people and things that came before us means we can die so that what comes after us can live.”

This is the heart of Unapologetically Caged. We have to be willing to do the hard work of healing so that the next generation doesn’t inherit our pain, our trauma, our mistakes.

What you don’t heal from, you will pass on. But what you do heal from, you can use to help others heal.

A Final Word: The Choice Is Yours

While 2020 saw a substantial downsizing due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this trend reversed with a 22% increase in 2023. More women are going to prison right now than almost any time in history. But you don’t have to become part of that statistic.

Every single day, you make choices. Some seem small who you spend time with, how you handle stress, whether you ask for help. But those small choices add up to the trajectory of your life.

Right now, in this moment, you have the power to choose a different path.

I can’t promise you it will be easy. Healing is hard. Changing your life is hard. Walking away from toxic situations is hard. But you know what’s harder? Watching your children grow up through prison glass. Wondering what their life could have been if you had been there. Carrying the weight of regret for years.

I’m living proof that chains can be broken. Not just physical chains, but the mental, emotional, and spiritual chains that keep you trapped in cycles of trauma, pain, and poor decisions.

You woke up this morning, which means you still have time. You still have a chance. You still have a purpose.

Resources for Young Mothers

If you’re struggling right now, here are some places you can reach out for help:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (available 24/7)
• SAMHSA National Helpline (Substance Abuse and Mental Health): 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7)
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 (if you’re having thoughts of self-harm)
• Local community health centers: Often provide low-cost or free mental health services
• Women, Infants, and Children (WIC): Nutrition assistance for mothers and children
• Job Corps: Free education and job training for young people ages 16-24

Remember: Asking for help is the first step toward freedom.

Take the Next Step

Your story doesn’t have to end in a cage. The fact that you’ve read this far tells me you’re looking for a way out, a way forward, a way to be better for yourself and your children.

Today is your pen of tomorrow. The choices you make right now will write the story of your future.

Choose healing. Choose freedom. Choose life.

I’m Ruth “Phoenix Rising” Moise, and I’m living proof that you can rise from the ashes of your past and become the woman you were always meant to be.

The chains that bound me were meant to destroy me. Instead, they forged me into who I am today. Don’t let your chains break you let them make you.

Connect with Ruth:

• Follow via Instagram: @unapologetically_caged
• Share this message with a young woman who needs to hear it
• If this message resonated with you, pass it forward you might save someone’s life

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