Phoenix Rising Survival – Magic Behind Bars
Welcome to the Prison Chef Network
Empresses, welcome to the prison chef network—where aprons are state-issued, knives are imaginary, and the only Michelin star we’re getting is for innovation under pressure.
I’m Phoenix Rising, 26, a mother of two, walking the road of redemption, restoration, and forgiveness one day, one prayer, and one canteen creation at a time.
They say art lives in paint and poetry—but honey, try surviving on a tray of grey mystery meat and tell me survival isn’t art.
The Great Prison Food Illusion
Prison food looks like it’s ready for Instagram golden macaroni, shiny gravy, a little steam for drama. Then you take that first bite and realize you’ve been scammed.
Salt? Fictional. Seasoning? Gone. Rice? A soft tragedy. Meat? A shade of grey not found in nature.
I call it culinary deception. But don’t worry, sis—we make a way out of no taste.
Canteen: The Real Grocery Store of the Compound
Canteen day is our Super Bowl. The moment those blue bags appear, hearts race. Someone always asks, “Did they call canteen yet?”
It’s first come, first served—and if you want to thrive, you plan.
Locker Essentials: The Survival Shopping List
🥩 Meats
Summer sausage, tuna (jalapeño, chili, or hot sauce), chicken in a pouch, beef barbacoa, sardines, mackerel, beef crumbles.
🍰 Sweets
Powdered doughnuts, honey buns, Nutty Buddy, Jell-O—because sugar equals sanity.
🥫 Condiments (The Holy Trinity)
Mayo (and more mayo), mustard for tang, sugar for balance, and my secret weapon: apple jelly.
Pickles? Always. Crunch is a love language.
🍟 Chips
Texture = happiness. Chips are structure in a world of mush.
The Star Ingredient: Ramen “Oodle My” Noodles
My mama asks, “How you cooking in there, baby?”
And I tell her—we’re not cooking; we’re performing miracles.
No stove, no microwave—just a sink faucet and faith. Warm water, patience, and creativity feed us when the world forgets we’re human.
🍜 Recipe #1: Sweet and Salty Something
Ingredients
- 1 ramen pack or instant rice
- 1 tuna pouch
- 1 Frito Chili Cheese chips bag
- 1 cheddar squeeze cheese packet
- 1 dill pickle
- 2 mayo packs
- 1 apple jelly pack
- 1 bowl or chip bag
Instructions
- Soak noodles in sink water until soft (don’t season yet).
- Drain water, then add seasoning.
- Mix in cheese until creamy.
- Blend tuna with mayo and seasoning.
- Layer noodles and tuna.
- Add crushed chips, chopped pickles, drizzle with jelly and mayo.
- Serve and savor your masterpiece.
Soul Note
Sweet meets salty—just like grace meets grit. It’s survival turned into art.
🍯 Recipe #2: Honey Mustard Chicken Noodles
Ingredients
- 1 pack chicken ramen
- 5 mustard packs
- 5 mayo packs
- 9 sugar packets
- 1 pouch chicken
- Optional: chili seasoning
- 1 bag Ruffles, crushed
- 1 pickle, chopped
Honey Mustard Sauce
Mix mustard, mayo, and sugar with a splash of water. For spice, add chili seasoning.
Instructions
- Soak and drain noodles, then season.
- Mix chicken with honey mustard sauce.
- Combine with noodles.
- Top with chips and pickles.
- Taste that sweet-spicy redemption.
Soul Note
This is Sunday dinner energy in a bag. Comfort food, prison edition.
Life Lessons from the Sink Kitchen
Cooking taught me gratitude, patience, and the art of turning nothing into something.
Forgiveness works the same way—you add it after the heat, and let it cling.
Phoenix Rising’s Kitchen Commandments
- Share, don’t enable.
- Respect the canteen line.
- Sanitize like it’s spiritual practice.
- Don’t mock another’s recipe—it’s survival.
- Label your mayo. Always.
Budget Alchemy: Flavor on a Dime
- Build your base: ramen + protein + crunch + sauce.
- Condiments fix everything.
- Buy a treat—it resets your spirit.
- No Fritos? Crushed crackers and seasoning.
- No pickles? Pickle juice to the rescue.
Forgiveness: The Final Ingredient
Forgiveness is like seasoning—you add it last so it sticks.
It’s not instant. It simmers. Some lessons you soak through, drain, and season later.
A Mother’s Reflection: To My Babies
Mama’s learning that redemption is a daily recipe.
Some days the pantry is full. Some days it’s just faith and sugar.
But every day, I’m cooking my way back home to you.
A Blessing for the Bowl
May your noodles soften even when the water’s lukewarm.
May your sauce thicken even when your sugar’s low.
May your crunch stay crunchy when life gets soggy.
And may you always find one extra pickle at the bottom of the bag.
💌 Connect With Phoenix Rising
If you try Sweet and Salty Something or Honey Mustard Chicken Noodles, tag us on IG or Facebook UnapologeticallyCaged or email UnapologeticallyCaged@gmail.com with your pics, stories, and remixes!Keep your spirit seasoned, your boundaries crispy, and your mayo stocked.
Until next time, dolls — this is Phoenix Rising, signing off from the Prison Chef Network.