Rebellion to Redemption – By Phoenix Rising
Hey beautiful souls,
Phoenix Rising here, writing to you from behind these concrete walls that have become both my prison and my classroom. I’m 26 years old, a mother of two precious babies I can’t hold right now, and I’m learning life lessons the hard way. Today I want to talk about something that literally changed my entire perspective on life: authority. Yeah, I know – authority. If only you could see my face when I first started writing about this topic. It was as stale as 5-week-old bread, and trust me, I’ve eaten my share of stale bread in here.
Authority has never been my favorite tune on the radio. Actually, I hated it so much that it was never on my life’s playlist. I spent years being the girl who threw around the word “No” like it was confetti at a New Year’s party. “Are you hungry?” Me: “No.” “Did you sleep?” Me: “No.”
“Is the sky baby blue or dark blue?” Me: “Huh? No.” Like, who would even ask that last question? But that was me – reflexively rebellious, automatically resistant to anyone trying to tell me what to do.
The Root of My Rebellion
All my life had been full of disrespect towards others and disobedience towards those appointed to lead me. I thought I was being strong, independent, showing the world that Phoenix Rising bowed to no one. But sitting in this cell, with too much time to think and nowhere to run from the truth, I’ve come to understand that my rebellion wasn’t strength – it was fear. Fear of being controlled, fear of being hurt, fear of trusting the wrong people with my heart and my choices.
Romans Chapter 13, verses 1-5, clearly talks about authority figures, and let me tell you, when I first read this, I wanted to throw the Bible across my cell. But something stopped me. Maybe it was thinking about my two babies, wondering what kind of example their mama was setting. Perhaps it was the weight of the consequences of my choices pressing down on my chest every single night.
See, some people confuse authority with just the law – judges, police officers, correctional officers. Trust me, I know all about those authority figures now. But what about the ones in regular clothing that we interact with daily? The ones who loved us before we even knew how to love ourselves?
The First Authority: Our Parents
The God-appointed authority figures with whom we have our first interaction are our mothers and fathers. It is stated right there in God’s Holy Book, in Proverbs. Don’t just stare at the screen –grab your Bible. See, that’s the problem we have: we want to hear the word read to us instead of reading it for ourselves. Trust me, I was once there too, sitting in church every Sunday while my mind wandered to everything except what was being preached.
Let’s begin with Proverbs 13:1, which states, “A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline; a mocker refuses to listen to correction” (NLT version). Ouch. Talk about being called out directly by the Good Book. I’d also heard the “honor thy mother and father” commandment, but I always thought that was limited only to not cursing at them or hitting them. After finally opening the Bible in here – really opening it, not just carrying it around like a fashion accessory – I realized I was doing it all wrong. Allllll wrong.
Romans 13:1 NLT says, “Everyone must submit to governing authorities, for all authority comes from God.” Can we take a moment to let that message sink in, please? Can you see the connection there? Both scriptures, found in chapter 13, verse 1, convey the same message. You don’t see that often – scriptures being in sync like that. That’s the powerful and amazing work of God. Yes, the Big Man upstairs will show you things in plain sight. It may seem mysterious, but all you have to do is pray for guidance and insight before you read, and for clarity as you read the Bible, and it will be like reading any other book. Okay, sorry, I trailed off again – but when you find truth in here, it’s hard not to get excited about it.
Understanding God’s Design for Authority
When God placed us in our mothers’ wombs to be formed, He gave her prime governing authority and the responsibility to care for and guide us in His name. Our fathers’ job is to provide and discipline us as their children so that the lawful authorities – police officers and judges – don’t have to. And let me tell you from experience, you want your parents doing the disciplining, not the state.
God also gave another governing rule to fathers. Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” This means that while parents do have governing authority over their children, they shouldn’t be poking at them for no reason or judging them harshly so that they lash out in disrespect and anger. That’s when emotional abuse starts to happen, and that cycle creates more rebels like I used to be.
My Journey of Stubborn Resistance
Yet there I sat, year after year, ignoring everything my mother and grandmother were trying to teach me, because I thought I knew better than they did. Like, who was really going to believe their overly religious, big Sunday hat-wearing church mom and grandma when they said, “Oh,
honey, I used to live that same life that you’re living”? Don’t get me started on my preacher stepfather saying he used to drink and smoke – oh my gosh, I couldn’t see it happening. It really
irritated me more than it helped me sympathize, because I thought they were being funny, trying to relate to me with made-up stories.
When I was about 20 years old, that’s when my mom felt like it was the right time to tell me all of her and my grandma’s real stories about the party life they’d lived in Haiti before coming to America. While I appreciate it being told later than never, I wish it had been told sooner. I would have been able to talk to her and express my emotions, ask for advice on drastic decisions before I made them, instead of asking my so-called friends, whose names I don’t even remember anymore.
The Wake-Up Call
It took sitting in this cell, separated from my children, to understand what I’d thrown away. Every night, I think about my babies and wonder if they’re learning the same rebellious spirit from my absence that I learned from my presence in their lives before I got locked up. Are they pushing against authority because they watched their mama do it? Are they going to end up in a place like this because I didn’t model respect and wisdom when I had the chance?
That’s when the lesson hit me like a freight train: authority isn’t the enemy. Disrespecting the people who love you isn’t a sign of strength. Running from guidance isn’t independence. It’s foolishness that leads to exactly where I am now – separated from everything and everyone that matters.
The Life Lesson: Authority as Protection, Not Oppression
Here’s the life lesson I wish I could go back and teach my younger self: Authority figures in our lives – our parents, teachers, mentors, and even law enforcement – aren’t there to control us or make our lives miserable. They’re there to protect us from the consequences of our own inexperience and poor judgment. They’ve walked roads we haven’t walked yet, made mistakes we haven’t made yet, and learned lessons we haven’t learned yet.
When my mother told me not to hang out with certain people, she wasn’t trying to control my social life – she was trying to protect me from the influence that would eventually land me here. When my grandmother warned me about the choices I was making, she wasn’t being judgmental – she was being prophetic, seeing the storm clouds I was too stubborn to notice.
God places authority in our lives as a form of His protection and guidance. When we rebel against every form of authority, we’re not just rebelling against people – we’re rebelling against God’s design for our protection and growth.
Finding Redemption in Respect
Now, in this place where authority is absolute and consequences are real, I’m learning what I should have learned twenty years ago: there’s freedom in submission to righteous authority.
There’s peace in knowing that someone wiser than you is looking out for your best interests. There’s strength in being humble enough to learn from those who’ve gone before you.
I’m not saying all authority is perfect – humans are flawed, and some people abuse their positions. But the principle of respecting legitimate authority, especially the loving authority of family members who want the best for us, is a principle I wish I’d embraced sooner.
A Message to My Fellow Rebels
To all my fellow rebels reading this, whether you’re 16 or 26 or 36: it’s not too late to change your relationship with authority. You don’t have to end up where I am to learn this lesson. You can choose to see the authority figures in your life – your parents, teachers, mentors, counselors – as resources rather than restrictions.
And parents, if you’re reading this, please be transparent with your children. If you have a story to share, the one person who will not judge you is your child. Your story will help them more than you know. Please don’t wait until they’re 20 to share the lessons you learned at 16. Share them now, while there’s still time to change their trajectory.
Moving Forward with Purpose
Young people, ask your parents to be transparent as you share with them the obstacles you’re facing. Be honest about your need for guidance. If you don’t have a parental figure you can trust, find a counselor at school, a mentor at work, or a spiritual leader in your community. Please don’t make the mistake I made of thinking you can navigate life alone.
From behind these walls, I’m watching my children grow up through pictures and phone calls, and I’m determined that when I get out, I’m going to be the kind of mother who earns their respect through love, consistency, and wisdom – not the kind who demands it through fear or manipulation.
The Challenge Ahead
My name is Phoenix Rising for a reason. Even though I fell, even though I burned, I’m rising from these ashes with wisdom I didn’t have before. I’m learning to respect the authority that God has placed in my life, and I’m preparing to be the kind of authority figure for my children that models respect, humility, and love.
If you’re struggling with authority like I did, I encourage you to take a step back and ask yourself: What am I really fighting against? Is it control or care? Is it oppression, or is it protection? Sometimes the very people we’re pushing away are the ones trying to pull us back from the edge of a cliff we can’t see yet.
Remember, there’s still time to change your story. Please don’t wait until you’re writing it from behind bars like I am. Choose respect, choose wisdom, choose to listen to the voices of love in your life before the only voices you hear are the echoes in a prison cell.
Stay strong, stay humble, and keep rising.
With love and hard-earned wisdom,
Phoenix Rising
Challenge of the Week
Here’s your challenge for this week:
Find a mentor, therapist, or trusted advisor, and find the courage to speak about something that has been bothering you, or a decision you want to make but don’t know if you should or how to.
Here’s how to tackle this challenge:
1. Please write it down first
Take some time this week to write about whatever is weighing on your heart or mind. Don’t worry about grammar or making it perfect –get your thoughts and feelings out on paper. Sometimes seeing our struggles in black and white helps us understand them better.
2. Identify your trusted source
This could be:
o A family member who has shown wisdom in their own life
o A counselor or therapist (many schools and communities offer free or low-cost counseling)
o A mentor at work, school, or in your community
o A spiritual leader, like a pastor, imam, rabbi, or other religious guide
o A trusted teacher or coach
o An older friend who has navigated similar challenges
3. Take the brave step
Reach out to that person and ask if they have time to discuss something vital with you. Most people are honored when someone trusts them enough to ask for guidance.
4. Be honest and open
Don’t minimize your struggles or pretend everything is fine. Real growth happens when we’re vulnerable enough to admit we need help.
Remember: asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of wisdom. Some of the strongest people I know are the ones who were brave enough to admit they didn’t have all the answers.
If you don’t have anyone in your life with whom you feel you can trust your struggles, you can always reach out to me at UnapologeticallyCaged@gmail.com, and I will do my best to guide you. Sometimes we all need someone to listen without judgment and offer a different perspective.
Your story doesn’t have to end the way mine did. Choose courage. Choose vulnerability. Choose to let someone help you rise.